5 Signs You Should See a Marriage Counsellor

You were madly in love at one point, but now you’re bickering constantly, barely showing affection or even worse, you may find yourself contemplating or having an affair. If your marriage is having problems, don’t wait too long to seek professional help. Marriage or relationship counselling can be very effective, especially if couples seek it out sooner rather than later. At Psylegal, our highly trained Melbourne relationship counsellors specialise in helping each party identify and work out their issues, improve communication, stop blaming and resentment, and find the way back to happiness. Here’s 5 signs that you should see a marriage counsellor.

You’re Always Fighting

If you can’t seem to have a conversation without it escalating into a screaming match, it’s time to learn how to communicate more effectively. Fighting involves extremely negative communication which can partners feeling judged, shamed, disregarded, angry and insecure. Negative communication also includes the tone of conversation – it’s not always what you say, but how you say it. Couples are always going to have fights, but there are healthy and unhealthy ways to disagree. Therapy can help you learn how to diffuse arguments and ensure you speak to each other and treat each other with respect.

There’s Constant Bickering

Being unable to agree on anything is a sign of a big issue. Whether you are arguing constantly about a singular issue or bickering over every little thing, marriage counselling might be able to help figure out why there is so much turmoil. Little tiffs can be just as harmful to a relationship as larger fights. Constant bickering has a way of wearing down the relationship and can make every little interaction irritating and tiring. Bickering can be a way of hiding larger issues that you’re trying to ignore or it can simply be because you don’t know effective ways of communicating. A counsellor can help you work out the reasons behind the arguments and effective ways to communicate and resolve the issues.

You’re Barely Speaking

While constant fighting and bickering aren’t healthy for any relationship, either is silence. Lack of talking may signal a lack of interest and intimacy and partners becoming indifferent about the relationship. Many relationship problems are simply challenges in communication and for a relationship to survive and thrive you need to facilitate new ways to communicate with each other. Once communication has deteriorated, it’s hard to get it going back in the right direction.

You’re Afraid to Speak Up

In a healthy relationship, both partners should be able to say what’s on their minds without being afraid. When it’s just too frightening to even bring issues up, whether it be sex, money, or even annoying little habits being blown out of proportion a therapist can help couples identify their issues and better understand what they’re talking about. Therapy will help to create an environment where both parties feel they can be heard and supported so that couples can make decisions together and share opinions with one another without the fear of starting an argument.

You’re Living Separate Lives

It’s normal to need some alone time every now and then, but if you constantly hang out in separate rooms at home, prefer to have dinner with friends than go on a date night or feel more like roommates than a married couple, it may be time to bring in a skilled therapist who can help sort out what’s missing and work out how to get it back. Doing your own thing can seem normal at first, however relaxation time together helps you connect in a way that keeps marriages together. Constant alone time can lead to one or both partners feeling neglected, resentful or lonely.

No relationship is perfect, and all couples go through hard times. Couples often think that seeking counselling is a sign that their relationship is a total failure. The truth is, the sooner you seek professional help, the greater the chance of getting that spark back. So if you think you may need relationship counselling, just go for it. Find a counsellor with whom both spouses feel comfortable, and learn the tools to get you back on the road to a happy marriage. The professional team at Psylegal specialise in relationship counselling for Melbourne couples. Contact us and book an appointment today.