How Does Domestic Violence Affect Children?

Typically, domestic violence consists of violent, abusive or intimidating behaviour by a man towards a woman, however of those women who experience domestic and family violence, more than 50% have children in their care. The impact of domestic violence on children is immense and can often have detrimental effects on them for the rest of their lives. At Psylegal, we are highly experienced in helping victims of domestic abuse overcome the trauma, depression and anxiety they may encounter after ongoing physical or emotional violence. While many of these victims are women, sadly there is a growing number of children and adolescents that also require psychological treatment. Read ahead to see how family violence can impact the lives of young people.

Children Living with Domestic Violence

Children living in a violent home environment suffer emotional and psychological trauma from the impact of living in a household that is dominated by tension and fear. Children may see their mother threatened, demeaned or physically assaulted. They may overhear conflict and violence and see the aftermath of the violence such as injuries to their mother. Children also may be used and manipulated by the abuser to hurt their mother. Instead of growing up in an emotionally and physically safe, secure, nurturing and predictable environment, these children are forced to worry about the future and live in constant fear, with no time left for fun, relaxation or planning for the future.

The Impact of Domestic Violence on Children

The emotional effects on children exposed to family violence may include:

• Aggression, hyperactivity, disobedience
• Disturbed sleep, nightmares
• Withdrawal from friends, loneliness
• Low self-esteem
• Poor concentration
• Pessimism about the future
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Poorly developed communication skills
• Shame

Physical effects may include:

• Entering marriage or a relationship at a young age to escape the family home
• Embarrassment about their family
• Eating disorders
• Low academic achievement
• Running away from home, leaving home at a young age
• Alcohol and substance abuse
• Experiencing violence in their own dating relationships
• Physical injuries when they try to intervene to protect mother
• Suicide

Apart from the emotional and physical damage children may suffer, statistics have shown that domestic violence can also become a learned behaviour meaning some children may grow up thinking it is acceptable to use violence to get what they want and as adults believe that it is normal for there to be violence in their relationships.

How Does Family Violence Impact Children of Different Ages?

Preschool-aged children – young children who witness acts of domestic violence may start doing things they used to do when they were babies or toddlers, such as wet the bed, suck their thumb, cry and whine more. They may also have sleeping difficulties, shy away from people, stutter, hide and show signs of severe separation anxiety.

School-aged children – this age group may experience guilt and blame themselves for the situation. They may suffer low self-esteem, struggle to maintain friendships, refuse to participate in school activities and have a poor academic record. They may also suffer physical symptoms such as also headaches and stomach aches.

Adolescents – teens exposed to family violence may act out in negative ways, such as aggressively fight with family members, bully other children or skip school. They may also engage in risky behaviours and experiment with alcohol or drugs. They may have low self-esteem and have trouble making friends. They are also more likely to get in trouble with the law.

In an ideal world no child or young person should witness or be exposed to domestic abuse but the reality is there are thousands of Australian children living in violent households every day. The good news is, in many cases the behavioural and emotional impacts of domestic and family violence will improve once children and their mothers are safe, away from violence and receive specialist support and counselling. If you or your children are experiencing, or have experienced domestic and family abuse it can be helpful to talk about it with an experienced psychologist who understands the impact of domestic and family conflict. Psylegal provides confidential counselling to adults and children that focuses on supporting positive mental health and well-being. Contact us today on 1300 79 22 09.