Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – How It Can Impact Relationships

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) combined with a relationship is a complicated mix that has the potential to be difficult both for the person living with PTSD and their partner. Those suffering from PTSD may struggle to relate to other people in a healthy way when they have problems with trust, closeness, and other important aspects of relationships. They often appear distant from their partners and are subject to sudden mood swings, they may have trouble communicating how they’re feeling and at times, they might not even understand what they’re coping with. While a healthy relationship may be complex if you are suffering from PTSD or are the partner of a PTSD sufferer, it’s important not to give up. Social support and professional relationship counselling can guide you both towards a happier relationship.

What is PTSD?

PTSD is a group of stress reactions that can develop after witnessing a traumatic event, such as death, serious injury or sexual violence to ourselves or to others. PTSD can happen after we’ve been through one traumatic event, or after repeated exposure to trauma. In the initial months after experiencing a trauma, we may often feel depressed, angry, tense, detached, or worried in relationships. Usually, time helps most people get back to normal with their relationships and achieve their former level of closeness. However, for a small percentage, PTSD develops, and things just aren’t the same.

Symptoms of PTSD Can Interfere with Having a Healthy Relationship

Symptoms may include having flashbacks or nightmares about the trauma, staying away from certain situations, feeling nervous or irritable, and having increased negative thoughts and feelings. A person with PTSD could stop wanting to spend time with loved ones, feel down a lot, have trouble trusting people and suddenly become angry. These kinds of reactions can make relationships more difficult on a daily basis.

People with PTSD may also:

• Have trouble with intimacy
• Avoid closeness and push loved ones away
• Find fault with everything their friends or loved ones do
• Feel detached from other people
• Have difficulty handling emotions
• Have intense anger, becoming physically or emotionally abusive
• Become dependent on family members, partners, friends or therapists
• Have trouble with alcohol and drug abuse

It’s important to remember that whilst relationships involving PTSD can be like battlefields, they can also help people with their PTSD symptoms, in combination with on-going support and guidance of professional treatment.

PTSD Also Impacts Loved Ones

Partners, family members and friends of people with PTSD may also often have a hard time coping.

Loved ones might:

• Feel isolated, hurt and depressed as they are being pushed away
• Feel guilty because they are unable to help the survivor get past the trauma
• Feel controlled and tense and become distant, resentful or even angry with the person suffering from PTSD
• Experience changing feelings toward the loved one (reduced positive feelings, increased negative feelings)
• Develop health problems due to constant negative feelings, depression, or bad habits and lifestyle practices

Seeking Professional Relationship Counselling to Help Improve Relationships

Coping with PTSD in a relationship isn’t easy, but there are ways to work toward happier, healthier relationships as you or your partner recover from traumatic events. Studies have shown for people with PTSD, going to couples counselling with their partner may ease their symptoms and help their relationship. Relationship counselling:

• Will help the person suffering PTSD to recognize their triggers and communicate them to their partner so that they can understand what’s going on with them emotionally
• Will help the partner to understand the symptoms and suggest ways in which to offer support
• Will help couples learn how to switch from avoidance to approach, recognising things they have actively shied away from because of the disorder, such as social gatherings, and then begin to integrate these events back into their lives
• Will focus on problematic beliefs that each partner holds and that contribute to PTSD and their relationship problems. Addressing issues of trust, control, emotional closeness, and physical intimacy.

The symptoms that accompany PTSD can test any relationship. However, understanding the symptoms and seeking treatment can help both parties maintain a happier, healthier relationship. If you or someone you love is suffering PTSD and it’s interfering with your relationship, seek help now. Contact the highly experienced relationship counsellors at Psylegal and see how we can help. Conveniently located in the CBD of Melbourne, relationship counselling is just around the corner.